The Golden Rule! I've said it countless times to my students and my children.
Unfortunately, we all make thoughtless comments to each other - not always on purpose. When you're busy doing something that you don't have enough time to do - POP! Those hurtful words come right out of our mouths. As with your impact on students, sometimes you know what you've done right away and sometimes it hits you later. WHAM!
I've also seen this happen when someone is angry and they take it out on someone else - displacement. Something may have happened before work that upset you. Also, the pressure from the educational system itself can make you frazzled (no kidding).
Teachers (or adults) aren't the only ones in this "nasty club". Kids have interacted like this for years, learning it, often, by how they were treated. But currently, it seems to be evolving (or snowballing) into bullying and words are becoming actions. We can not accept this from our students or ourselves.
Throughout my years of working in schools, I developed a saying which I hoped helped my students and my own children. "People say mean things to others when they feel sad or mad about something else". We never said anything mean when we were feeling good. Think about it. As you think about things that you've said (and we all have), weren't you upset about something. Maybe you were overworked, not able to pay the bills or had an argument with someone. It happens! Knowing that it happens helps us to try to stop it in the future.
Lastly, we have to remember that we're human and our personal lives will "seep" into our professional lives. I believe that it's important to let our students see that we're human and we all make mistakes. So, if you make one of those thoughtless comments, apologize. It will diffuse their anger and they will respect you for it. And, you will respect yourself!
FYI: Please feel free to give me feedback. I'd like to hear what you think.
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